the end of a chase

i was 24 years old when i started this blog. having grown tired of blogger’s lack of refreshing new templates (and my inadequate coding skills), i made the switch to wordpress. i spent 3 years on blogger and twice the number of years here. adding up the short time spent at easyjournal (my first blog!) and xanga, i have blogged for a good 10 years! (even if i was not always consistent in penning down my thoughts on the internet.)

all that blogging in the last 10 years did not yield major improvements in my writings skills or made me famous but this past decade has definitely brought about significant and wonderful experiences that helped made me who i am today. the twenties were not as exciting as what i have imagined – my early twenties were confusing, stressful, depressing and angry; the mid twenties presented a turning point for me to end a long list of self-inflicted emotional turmoils; and the end of the twenties opened me up to the happiest period i have ever had in my entire life.

the landscape of my inner world experienced its biggest shift in the last one to two years that i sometimes feel that life can be categorized into before and after 28 Jan 2011. the subsequent effects of the momentous day only became apparent a year later. perhaps, that’s the reason why blogging has been very difficult in the last 2 years. this space was created for me to vent and share my thoughts and, evidently, there were more things to vent about and more time to share in the beginning of this 6 year blog affair. while many others see a blog as the one place to document enough thoughts to re-visit at an older age, i see every blog as a different stage in my life. this space has served its purpose in being this great memory bank for my challenging twenties and i honestly feel that it is time for me to move on (instead of finding new ways to motivate myself to blog here).

there are different milestones to achieve at different stages in life. i am filled with excitement about being 30 (and i haven’t met anyone who is not excited about it) because it is such a good and important time to take stock and see how you can take everything you have built in the last 10 years even further. there are enough professional and personal endeavors to keep me focused and occupied for the next few years and it would be interesting to see how i go about achieving them.

if most of my twenties were spent chasing after liberty, i would like my thirties to be a decade of creation, of knowing my identity and settling comfortably into it, of curating relationships, values, beliefs and material things so as to be the best that i can possibly be.

this new journey may or may not be documented in another blog. commitments are hard to keep. for now, i am very happy to wrap this up after 6 years.

a new chapter in life awaits. 30 begins!


Filled Need

Filled Need.

i read this in the office over lunch break last week and found my eyes a little wet from the story. it’s amazing how much can be accomplished when people come together with genuine love and concern. the story is still stuck in my remind – a reminder to myself that small gestures can go a very long way and that i should get back into the helping people, something that have become less of a priority ever since i started working.

try reading some of his other entries – he writes very well.

where to go from here?

i think i have outgrown blogging. started the year with the intention of posting at least a monthly entry but it turned out making one for a quarter was equally hard. it isn’t because there is nothing to write about but it is no longer as easy as it used to. most of the time, it ends up with me asking myself this question “…and this post of my thought or an experience is important or worth my effort because…?” after which, i would probably end up putting down the key points in my journal for future reference. 

still, i never quite gave it up because it is such a pity to not continue something that i have kept going since july 2007. 

happy 6th year, starcrash. i wished i knew what to do with you. 

i heart books

“…books have been my classroom and my confidant. books have widen my horizons. books have comforted me in my hardest times. books have changed my life.” po bronson’s love of books from “what should i do with my life?

10 suggestions for life

listen to (or read) ben bernanke 2013 commencement speech if you have a chance. i thought it was a really humbling and compassionate speech.

couldn’t agree more on life being a life long project of developing oneself as a human being and i couldn’t help but think of my meritocratic Singapore when he questioned about the fairness of meritocracy.

he really got to me when he started talking about how people who are most worthy of admiration are folks who have coped most courageously in the face of adversities – people with little schooling but who through honest and diligent labour, has managed to clothe, feed and educate their families deserved greater respect and greater help.

reminded me of what henry james once said “3 things in human life are important. the first is to be kind, second is to be kind and third is to be kind.”

gone from facebook

i’ve finally deleted my facebook account! unfortunately, its effect will only be made permanent 14 days from now.

first deactivated my account on 11 feb 2013 only to find myself re-activating it a week later to accept friends’ request. however, that didn’t stop me from removing the app from my iphone or restricting my logins from the macbook to no more than 4 times a month.

fast forward to 3 months later, i realized life’s much quieter without the distractions of facebook. and because it is quieter, i find myself happier on most days. and because i now lack a time/boredom killer device, i had to retrain the brain to occupy itself with other means like reading on my kindle, reading more meaningful tweets, reading books borrowed from the library, journaling, thinking about my goals, priorities and habits.

of course, i’m not here to say that you can’t achieve all that with facebook in your life. people react differently to things and i’ve finally come to the point where i genuinely feel that i am not missing out on much without it and that i like myself and my life a lot more when it is absent from my life.

i guess, that’s the most important point isn’t it?