sunday and wanting that 20 seconds of courage

the weekend went by a little too fast but i think i’ve enjoyed myself quite a bit despite not accomplishing much of anything. i tell myself it is ok and run through in my head the good advice i have read in the new york times article “the busy trap”.

I am not busy. I am the laziest ambitious person I know. Like most writers, I feel like a reprobate who does not deserve to live on any day that I do not write, but I also feel that four or five hours is enough to earn my stay on the planet for one more day. On the best ordinary days of my life, I write in the morning, go for a long bike ride and run errands in the afternoon, and in the evening I see friends, read or watch a movie. This, it seems to me, is a sane and pleasant pace for a day. And if you call me up and ask whether I won’t maybe blow off work and check out the new American Wing at the Met or ogle girls in Central Park or just drink chilled pink minty cocktails all day long, I will say, what time?

i absolutely love what he said about “4 or 5 hours is enough to earn my stay on the planet for one more day.” for someone who has worked an average of 16 hours in the last 2 weeks, i do think i deserve 2 full days of nothingness.

started on 2 books this weekend – john le carre’s “tinker tailor soldier spy” and agatha christie’s “cards on the table”. tinker is for at-home reading because it’s too heavy for me to lug around and cards is for reading when traveling between home and work because it’s such a tiny book! it’s interesting to note that both books are of similar genre.

went for a hair cut today and realized for the first time that i’ve been going to dawson for almost 2 years and i have no inclination to look for another stylist. he’s the first stylist that refused to let me re-bond my hair (yes!) and preferred to use cutting techniques to work with the waves in my hair. frankly, nobody really appreciates my flyaway wavy hair – always remarking that it’s messy – but i like it, really like it!

am looking forward to this week – hopefully nothing major crops up at work so that i can enjoy my month long celebrations to the fullest – can’t wait! i don’t think i’ve ever asked so many people out in july before. i can’t even remember how i celebrated most of my birthdays… this is a clear sign of aging.

also for this birthday, i am still trying to challenge myself into doing something i’ve never done before… hur hur. it’s not easy stepping out of the comfort zone but i think it’s something worth trying at age 29.

i mean, life is short right? and all you need is 20 seconds of insane courage!


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