of finding value and clarity

some 4 weeks ago, i felt distracted, lost and frustrated. my mind and my space was too cluttered and i thought i was holding on to one too many items that were better off returned or given away.

determined to get myself back on the right frame of mind and energized by the conversation i had with nikko over breakfast, i went back to office on a saturday afternoon and cleaned away. i went through every single item on my desk, in my side cabinets and my drawers and cleared away stacks of paper, files, expired food, dust, unusable stationeries and paper bags. i even cleared my inbox and my window desktop. i returned items of massive distractions.

i felt my mind getting clearer and my being lighter as i cleaned away. in between the cleaning, i went through some of the unread mails on my personal inbox and i clicked on an unread email that has been sitting in my inbox for a while and i found myself immensely delighted by the content. (i do not have the habit of reading them on a daily basis even though i checked my inbox several times a day.)

the content would have meant less on another day but on that saturday, when i was all prepared to let things go, it’s message was too apt and the timing too righ

You have my permission to leave

You know that feeling you get after you clean something ? Maybe it’s your kitchen sink, your laptop files, or the plate you just used for lunch. Somehow, the sensation works itself through you, and now that it is clean, you find yourself lighter, relieved, and clear-minded even.

Relationships need that sometimes. I’ve let go and been let go of. The respect for the other person remains, but there is an understanding that the value is no longer there. When we part ways, there is a lightness, relief, and clarity. It doesn’t have to be forever; sometimes it’s a break. Recently, a friendship was revived and we are connecting better than we ever did before.

Today, you have my permission to leave my writing if it does not provide value to you. I will be happy to see you take that step. I also give myself permission to unsubscribe you if I sense your need to make room for other things. (Mailchimp tells me who reads.) Remember, it doesn’t have to be forever. One day, we may look for each other again.

Until then, I’d like to meet my need for value and clarity, so I’m cleaning.

You have my permission to leave.

kym pham for the sublime

2 years ago, i once had a conversation on this topic. people were surprised that we were not as close but how does one define closeness? my reply to that was…”perhaps, it is time for both of us to venture out, to see the world without each other, to gain more insights through a different circle and to come back to each other a more fulfilled and rounded person.” i always believe we have different friends during different stages in life. people come and go into our lives. nothing stays forever and nothing really ends. at some point, paths will cross again.don’t be afraid of letting things and people go. there will always be times where friends stayed joined at the hips for several years and times where friends venture out on their own and spend less time by your side. it doesn’t mean that the friendship has ended but that it is prepping itself to go to the next level.

and i’m still having a lot of fun cleaning. life is a continuous process of finding value and clarity.

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