memory house

last week, while waiting for the bus, i pondered about the purpose of blogging, or at least my purpose of blogging. i’ve been blogging for almost a decade – many blogs have been deleted, a few of them no longer active and then i have this – a site i have been faithfully coming to jot down my entries since 2007.

i used to harbour dreams about being the owner of a great blog only to realise i have neither the interest nor the talent to maintain a blog of substance. then i started blogging for the people who reads my blog, or for the people i hope would read my blog and realised that still water runs deep. haha! of course, i do enjoy the process of typing an entry – seeing a blank page get filled with my words and my thoughts fill with me wonder and satisfaction because writing is itself a very rewarding process. i’m always surprised by how different my intended entry turned out to be – the wonder comes from building something from scratch and seeing where that first word will lead you to.

but even that is not motivating enough to keep me blogging for long, as evident by my occasional hiatus from this blog. so there i was waiting for the bus that never seems to come and wondering why i blog and why i should continue to blog and it dawned on me that i have built a memory house for myself and i should continue building it because age and the many distractions from life makes one forget. perhaps, that was the driving force behind my sunday blogging routine because sunday night seemed like a good time to reflect on the week and a good time to document some of life’s more significant moments; moments you find yourself remembering even though it has long passed, moments you know you might forget because life would continue to bring you even more significant moments; moments that represents your current state of being and frame of mind so that you could return to them in your later years and see how much or how little you have grown.

a few months back, i decided to browse through the entries on one of my inactive blog. the entries marked a dark period in my life and reading them transported me back to those moments of pain, anguish and sadness but it also made me appreciate the state of being i am in now. i don’t know how i got from there to here but i must have done something right a long the way. without my virtual memory house, i might have forgotten that dark period totally and fail to realise just how much progress i’ve made to be where i am today.

a conversation last night further confirmed my purpose. we were talking about an incident from 2008 and i remembered i had it somewhere in my blog. a quick search got me to the entry. when i showed it to my friend, his first response was “which warehouse did you go to find this??!!”

well, from my virtual memory house.


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