a foolish heart

am i wiser,
no i am not.

the passing years of searching
did not give me answers
i am still unfulfilled
after all these years
if i was empty then
i feel emptier now

i didn’t find a deeper meaning
to why life is worth living
but i couldn’t find a reason
to why life should be given an early ending

if i should be grateful
for the tomorrows i get to see day after day
why do i only feel the unbearable heat
when the sun rises and shine on my way

am i wiser,
no i am not.

but i now know when they say
the emptiness of the soul
can never be filled by
a hole full of dough

i must also admit
religion didn’t last me for very long
the house of God
didn’t make me feel belonged

perhaps, fulfillment only comes
when your paradigm shifts within
perhaps, the understanding i fail to grasp
is why my soul still feels intensely trapped

without religion
and without possessions
lighter than i ever was
yet i still can’t shake off the weight i feel on me.

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