moments in sketches

i’m signing up for sketching classes next year. 

i had this urge to impulsively sign up for the classes now but i changed my mind when i chanced upon some wise words from “daily teachings of the secret” by rhonda byrne when i was at borders a few weeks ago.

i can’t remember the exact words and i can’t find the words no matter how many times i flip through the book.

it was something about focusing your energies on a few tasks on hand in order to do things well.

and i guess i decided to take this age old wisdom seriously, for once.

cultured by interaction

wow.

i feel so honoured artist jimmy quek prabhakara responded to my email on sketching services.

that means a lot to me – i wouldn’t be as awed even if lewis hamilton shook my hand.

i have never heard of him. i found him in an online advertisement. i am in love with his painting because in my dreams i paint the way he does.

i feel like asking him why must i sketch apples, pears and cubes – can i go straight to drawing people – but i don’t dare, especially when i can’t shade or contour even if my life depended on it.

bing

i really dislike the search engine bing – i never seem to get what i want and the search results is just messy to the eyes.

i still swear by google and i love it’s corporate philosophy “ten things”.

it reminds me of zee and everything else i believe in.

lusting after mac

i was sitting at cedele this morning thinking about the last time i saved up for something i really really love and really really want. well, i can’t remember the last time because it must be some 15 years ago.

i started to think about the things i would really scrimp and save money for and i came up with 9 items. i think i need to find a millionaire boyfriend to own and experience them all in say the next 5 years. or i must find a way to become a millionaire!

the item that cost the most is a small apartment only i can call home and the least is a dslr.

but i don’t need a dslr now so i shall look at the second lowest – which is my dream notebook, the 15″ macbook pro that retails at $2788 and if i were to add in ms office, the total amount payable will be around $3025.

#3,025 for a notebook?! i can buy 2 pc, i think. haha.

maybe i should just be more realistic and buy a 13″ macbook 2.53ghz notebook that retails at $2488 instead.

i have been lusting after a mac for years. i used the word lust because i have never used one before so i don’t know it inside out. all my desires for this product is based on what i have seen and read and i do love everything that i have seen and read. everytime i walked pass epi centre, unknown forces just pulls me to the macbook pro.

oh my god.

i love macbook pro.

anyway, i was thinking of the macbook so much i walked into epi centre @ wheelock.

and what do you know!

my secondary school classmate works at epi centre and i told her i am so tempted to get a mac. she shared with me her experience with mac and how she has been using it for the last 3 years with no problems. she told me about mac’s many features and many wonders…

this is fate at work, i think.

i am completely won over now.

and you know what, the battery can last 7 hours.

i’m going to experience city dweller bliss… let’s hope they have christmas sale or something!

oh my, oh my!

i am so excited!

in 3.5 or maybe 4 years time

i want to work in Apple but i think it will not be easy to get into the world’s most admired company.

i shall go make a list of companies i wished i can work in and the reasons why.

here’s the full list of the world’s most admired company.

remember your purpose or else what’s the point in leaving?

my first day was filled with confusion and uncertainty and there was a second where i seriously wondered is everything as it seems here. i even briefly considered james offer to me.

it didn’t help that there was major renovation work going on in the office and the dust and noise can be a little too much to bear. i spent many hours wiping away layer of dust only to see them on my table an hour later. i went back home with really dirty opaque stockings. in the midst of all the discomfort, i actually thought of mac and chiong from the facilities team.

there was also a man who said discouraging things to me – i am glad that i am level headed enough to know what is right and wrong. i even told him “hey, no mess is permanent. all these that you see here is temporary. it will all come to pass!” to which he shrugs and walks away.

i had a nice little welcome lunch at changi airport and once again, i forgot to thank her for lunch!!! i think my previous boss pamper us too much – free lunch is almost a given but i do remember thanking him always.

focus. focus. focus.

everything was better and clearer after the chat with the finance head. i’m actually quite determined to learn something from this stint and of course, help contribute to the realisation of the dreams of 2 people in the company.

i have no big dreams so i actually enjoy helping other people fulfilled their dreams in one way or another. i realised this during my second interview.

we were released earlier today because of the excessive dust and noise from the renovation. despite the early release, i still felt tired from my first day.

it’s amazing how alien everything seems just after a 2 weeks break. i am not kidding when i say this but i forgot how to read a profit and loss statement! it took me a while to get use to reading the annual report and i was at a lost when asked to review the budget. i only started to recall things when the GA started talking about it. it didn’t help that i have not done any work in this area for a long long long long while.

it’s ok, i’m sure i’ll somehow get the hang of it. besides, this is the exact reason why i chose to end a chapter.

to feel fear again.

to feel like i might not succeed unless i work very hard for it.

to swim out to open waters and try to stay afloat.

to do the things i was not able to do then.

 

my nasty (ex) boss wrote in my farewell video that i must always remember why i left the company and to continually stay focus on my dream.

because of the intensity of july, i forgot many of the reasons that drove me to close the chapter. his note on my last day made me remember all of that and i find myself repeating his words today.

once again, thanks to all who text me today.

and syaiful, haha, thanks for being even more excited than me!

heading to work with all your love

tomorrow is my first day in an unfamiliar territory.

i will remember your love, wishes and concern. hopefully, that will help me survive miserable first days with a smile.

i’m heading to unfamiliar ground with familiar love all over me! i’m going there all prepared…

i will be wearing the gorgeous classy watch i received from my department.

i will be carrying the equally gorgeous agnes b tote i received from 48 lovely friends and colleagues.

i will be wearing the clothes and bringing the wallet i bought with the vouchers my friends and colleagues have given me.

i will be bringing along one of the many biscuits my department has given me in case i am hungry and there is nothing for me to eat.

i will be bringing along a notebook shirley gave me many christmas ago.

i will be bringing my favourite muji calculator (i found it in my drawer although i don’t remember putting it there) because it has accompanied me at work for 3 – 4 years.

i will be bringing my pen bag because i can’t decide which pen to bring.

i will be wearing my current love, the sweet honey smelling, Chloe perfume and hope with all hope that i will be as well and as good there.

 

heading to bed.

i need to wake up at 6.30am tomorrow to reach work at 8.15am.

my first car?

i saw a peach pink new vw beetle at the office carpark over the weekend and i couldn’t take my eyes of it. it looked so happy!!! i absolutely love it…love it…love it!

an evening of encouragements

you asked me out for dinner
by the beach, lightning flashed and breeze caress our faces
over pizza, macaroni and iced tea,
you listened, shared and advised
to my woes, about your life experiences and the things i could do
over the 2 hours
you touched me with your patience and understanding
and my spirit was lifted
in the car, your unexpected offer
surprised me, shocked me and moved me
i was lost for words
even if i end up not accepting the offer
i am still touched that an idea of such generosity crossed your mind
you ended the night
with a gift for me
it was a book
written by a man named dreams

thank you for the lovely evening

learn to give thanks

i had dinner with 3 lovely ladies last night. lovely lady 1 is jenice, lovely lady 2 is a lady whom we used to work with and lovely lady 3 is a lady whom we are still working for.

it was supposed to be a celebratory dinner but we ended up talking about the recession, the retrenched bankers and the blue collar workers. it got more and more solemn towards the end of the night.

lovely lady 2 is a headhunter who also freelance as a financial consultant. she was sharing with us how young retrenched bankers are still not facing the harsh truth of reality – how some of the bright young bankers were not able to survive in the international firms she put them in and how some of them, especially those who used to work in foreign banks, are so spoilt.

lovely lady 3 shared with us the recent interviews she conducted, how some of the ex relationship managers were still asking for an increase in pay in the midst of this economic crisis.

we moved on to talk about blue collar workers and managers in their forties/fifties who were be the most badly hit in any recession. there was a story about a 53 year old man who was so grateful to be granted an interview because he has been sending out resumes for months without getting any response. i also shared a story about a job seeker whom i met along the corridors at work. he was in his 50s and he asked me where he could apply for a job. he told me he wants to commit suicide if he still can’t get a job. i was !

it is good reminder of how grateful we should be to have a job now. it is also a good reminder of how it is important to live simply and not be greedy.

i like what lovely lady 2 said about how trust is misplaced in this day and age and how this recession will surface alot of the banks’ fundamental values and princples.

it was a good dinner. i have always enjoyed talking to the 2 ladies because i always walk away feeling better about everything.

there were the 2 people i aspire to be like when i am their age, humourous, wise, thankful and gracious.

i hope all i am doing now will lead me in the right direction.

quarterly recurrence of a desire

if you keep wishing for the same thing every 3 months for the last 5 years, does that mean you want it really, really, really badly?

i think i do but i have no money to execute this deep desire of mine.

so, since i want it so very badly, i shall stick to my plan until the desire is satisfied.

lonely planet

i was watching lonely planet blue list on channel 5 just now because fiona xie was in it. me loves that girl. she is so breathtakingly gorgeous and i love the way she talks – simply delightful.

.

.

.

and damn, i wanna work for lonely planet.

can i? may i?

clearly, i am motivated by other things and money is not one of them.

i have been telling myself i must clear my final 2 ACCA papers because i cannot imagine another semester of retaking the same papers. repeatedly telling myself the same thing is not enough, i must find something to motivate me, something that will tempt me enough to sit diligently at my study table every night after work and they are : -

• i can finally spend the money i fork out on exam and course fee on better things.
• free nights to learn and practice guitar/piano/___________ or anything else that i enjoy doing.
• i can finally go study something else that i am more interested in!
• i can throw away all my notes and free up more space to put other things.

surprisingly, “higher pay after completion of studies” is not one of the motivators (it’s not because my pay is so good now). i don’t know why. i mean, it’s a good thing that your pay might go up cos of it but it is just not motivating enough for me to kill myself over school to get it.

i scare myself sometimes at my inability to think practically.