my first day was filled with confusion and uncertainty and there was a second where i seriously wondered is everything as it seems here. i even briefly considered james offer to me.

it didn’t help that there was major renovation work going on in the office and the dust and noise can be a little too much to bear. i spent many hours wiping away layer of dust only to see them on my table an hour later. i went back home with really dirty opaque stockings. in the midst of all the discomfort, i actually thought of mac and chiong from the facilities team.

there was also a man who said discouraging things to me – i am glad that i am level headed enough to know what is right and wrong. i even told him “hey, no mess is permanent. all these that you see here is temporary. it will all come to pass!” to which he shrugs and walks away.

i had a nice little welcome lunch at changi airport and once again, i forgot to thank her for lunch!!! i think my previous boss pamper us too much – free lunch is almost a given but i do remember thanking him always.

focus. focus. focus.

everything was better and clearer after the chat with the finance head. i’m actually quite determined to learn something from this stint and of course, help contribute to the realisation of the dreams of 2 people in the company.

i have no big dreams so i actually enjoy helping other people fulfilled their dreams in one way or another. i realised this during my second interview.

we were released earlier today because of the excessive dust and noise from the renovation. despite the early release, i still felt tired from my first day.

it’s amazing how alien everything seems just after a 2 weeks break. i am not kidding when i say this but i forgot how to read a profit and loss statement! it took me a while to get use to reading the annual report and i was at a lost when asked to review the budget. i only started to recall things when the GA started talking about it. it didn’t help that i have not done any work in this area for a long long long long while.

it’s ok, i’m sure i’ll somehow get the hang of it. besides, this is the exact reason why i chose to end a chapter.

to feel fear again.

to feel like i might not succeed unless i work very hard for it.

to swim out to open waters and try to stay afloat.

to do the things i was not able to do then.

my nasty (ex) boss wrote in my farewell video that i must always remember why i left the company and to continually stay focus on my dream.

because of the intensity of july, i forgot many of the reasons that drove me to close the chapter. his note on my last day made me remember all of that and i find myself repeating his words today.

once again, thanks to all who text me today.

and syaiful, haha, thanks for being even more excited than me!